Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2039 Please complete the following Terms of Friendship

Tuesday 14th August, 2012

Sharing URL http://pfbe.net/OgAQa4

Dear Dr Maz

Following the successful completion and registration of my Facebook account I confirm that I have also forwarded all my friends my Friend Requests and enclosed a pre-friend agreement and other documents, which I intend them to agree.  I have also included an ‘unfriend’ policy should this be necessary for my personal purposes.

With the above in place in respect of my friends they can now be archived in accordance with my Terms of Friendship.

In the meantime I thank you for your notes on properfacebooketiquette as these were seminal in my decision.

I wonder if I have missed anyone out?…

Yours ActaNonSense.

Given your terms and conditions of friendship, the outline of your personal conduct is rather of a recursive and repugnant tone.  Some of the properties that are important to friend engagement or ‘encounters’ (let us add an air of mystery here), seem much less important to you than your Profile.  The example that you have given exude such properties of personal privacy, however they fail to persuade me (or likely your so called friends) that this is really the motivation for your communication.

Rather, I put it to you, this is you being deliberately obtuse. Nay, even a w*nker.  Examples of proper codes of conduct would include embarrassment, (some(!)) maintenance of poise, capacity for non-distractive communication, adherence to at least one social code regarding the method of friendship, and (finally) the allocation of a crucial attribute of any connection; self-reflection, understanding and graciousness.

This means not imposing rules that fly into your head as you see fit, and some patterns of interaction that might encourage a future meeting.

However, even with all the above in place (and I am sorry if I offend w*nker), you would do wise not to follow my lead – as this week I will singularly fail to meet up with a much cherished friend of mine, as work calls me away (amongst a host of additional complexities I will not bore you with here). Anyway this post is dedicated to Him, who will no doubt read this, roll his eyes and think to himself ‘yes that Dr Maz, disorganised and remiss with her communications once again, *tut, tut*’. And he is quite right.

Perhaps if I had enforced a series of Terms and Conditions at the beginning of our relationship such a continuous engrossment (on my part) to be in the flow of work would safe-guard against any future offense and maintain our friendship together.

One can but hope. Here’s to you Dr C, for I am about to send my apologies.

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