Tuesday 11th September, 2012
Dear Dr M.
Being a seasoned traveler I use Facebook to organise my trips and I worry that should my shameful secret get out, the invitations to stay will dry up; I suffer from an affliction that means when I stay with friends I am rather disposed to block their plumbing. This means that I am required to travel not only with my trusted travel iron, but also a close to hand lavatorial plunger. Could you propose an alternative to my plumbing arrangements then I can travel in peace and nothing need risk being backed up.
From Mister Just Gets Washed
My dear, plumbing is not in your blood. For most, to travel and impose one self upon friends is a comfortable, if not cost-effective way to ensure a good adventure. Gone is the risk of sodden sheets, burnt toast, malevolent hotel/holiday/b&b guests and flashy stooges at the bar. The point is to cram as much of the convenience of home into a friends space as possible. This on the proviso that you stick to their rules, ‘don’t touch Grandma’s brandy’, and ‘don’t completely wreck the place’. Plumbing is a particularly sensitive issue and if you have ever ventured into less familiar territory that require a good balance between what comes out of your bottom and the sheets with which to remove such stink you will know what I mean.
In the arrangement of toilet facilities, one makes sure to occupy this space when it is completely without demand and friends are not immediately on site. Spiderman jim-jams provide a neat accompaniment to the labour of brushing teeth, washing and doing general hygienic stuff and also provide a good talking point, not to mention admiring glances. At least from your message you are not confessing to being caught with your pants down. I get the feeling that most friends shouldn’t let you stray too far; the successful flushing of a chain is accomplishment enough, a small but significant daily coup in your case.In this instance, what your friends do not know is certainly better for them. And IF you are able to act under the guise of night, or early morning and clean up your act before there are other witnesses, then I don’t think you need worry about your future travel plans.
Your other alternative is to move your calls of nature into a new setting, one that is surrounded by trees and away from others.Tweet