Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2043 Forgotten

Wednesday 19th September, 2012

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Dear Dr M.

I’ve just come back from holiday to find that my boyfriend has locked me out of his Facebook page. Otherwise he seems fine. What have I done?

From Norma via the new submit page

You boyfriend has been carried away by a conversation of gestures. He is not being unpleasant or cruel, but he simply does not want you as close to his Profile as perhaps you want to get. This or it is his rather tackles way of corresponding his vague dislike of you. Are you presenting any indicators of an addiction to his online life?… These present themselves in the following manner:

1. You talk only in txt spk;

2. You think a poke is a natural portrayal of your affection;

3. It isn’t tea time until your Facebook Status says it is;

4. You’ve changed your Profile pic to look ‘even cuter’ as the other one didn’t represent enough your latest hair do;

5. You’re concentration is thoroughly interrupted by whatever one of your 13,000 ‘friends’ are doing.

In the event of the above presenting itself; you should be relieved that your boyfriend seems entirely unperturbed by your digital angst. Of course, this could also be interpreted as mild indifference, verging on simmering hate, but that’s when you should be talking and not poking. You struggle to live in the ‘real world’, so you will struggle with divulging your desire, and there can be little joy in a partnership based entirely on what either of you are doing (yawn) on Facebook. Deciding on what you have done is only a part way recognition of what you should be doing. Liberate yourself from such an unphysical position and initiate a more emphatic relationship.

Or block him from your page and see how he likes it.

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