Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2055 Police incident

Sunday 10th March, 2013

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Dear Dr M.

I have recently set up my new business as a stripper on Facebook. I have a FanPage (with Fans) and lots of images to keep them happy.  I specify that I provide a classy service with a top notch and full strip tease. I can be whatever you want; a fireman, a policeman, a nurse… *wink*

One of my clients had the cheek to complain about my ‘big belly’ and a ‘disappointing’ you-know-what.

What action should I take?

From BigBen via Comments Page right here at

Well charming, no I do not know about your ‘you-know-what’; what is this what? Oh goodness the mind boogles and lo(!) too late I’ve already clicked on your shared FanPage. Your Fan is right you do have a ‘big belly’, no doubt cultivated over years of honing a proper six pack.

I c/wouldn’t possibly comment on the what-I-do-not-know.

Instead, I find myself shaking my head vigorously. These days, the Services – police, fireman, nurses – seem to spend all their time “doing paperwork” and, it would appear that your physique reflects such a build. So your client can hardly complain. Perhaps you should tag and comment on their physique?… This is the world of openness and co-created content after-all.

It is disturbing to think there are people out there who prefer to find strippers on Facebook than friends. Get real: it’s like trying to pick your nose with your toes, and as socially awkward as replacing all your M&S undies with exotic smalls and peekaboo-style apertures.

Ask yourself, would this make for false advertising and a liability in any other context? If the answer is yes, then the customer is always right.  *insert exasperated contempt here.* Aren’t you a dancer who provides erotic entertainment after-all?…

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