Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2058 A duty to record every single f*ck*ng th*ng

Wednesday 10th April, 2013

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Dr M.

I’ve been fired left my £15,000 work after acting yoff . I only really wanna make a batch of hash brownies.  Im either really fun.. oh so unattractively drunk, surely this makes me qualified to do anything?

Youth Crime Tsar YCT – via Twitter.

YCT there come occasions when the updates must be left alone… your subjects have revolted.  They are seldom co-operative or at their best mixed into the exciting and hedonistic mix of your reveling. They are not Youth. They are ‘proper adults’ who would never do anything stupid. Not once, not ever. This is when the media steps in and does social media really professionally!

Never mind if you’re making hash-browns or not.

Oh sh*ttykins! Imagine the frantic days ahead!. You’ll have negotiating a book deal…. The mammoth shoe buying… the cross social media dashes depositing ‘wisdom’ to other yoff near, far and wide.  Quick! get that Piers Morgan on the phone! Then it’s to OK! Magazine for a spread with Kerry Katona, and on the Guest List for Katie Price’s next wedding – just in time for Christmas 2013.

Jolly well make the best of it. That piffling £15,000 wouldn’t even get you the cover of OK! No more flogging Twitter for you, stay capable and unpleasant; disagreeable and imprudent.

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