Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2059 An explanation. Some sarcasm.

Thursday 11th April, 2013

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Dear Dr H.

So how’s life? I am fine. Facebook keeps asking me ‘how I am’. If I don’t reply it gets mad at me and questions me for the following:

1.) Sharing photos with phrases on them.

2.) Sharing photos that were uploaded by friends of mine.

3.) Clicking “like” on statuses by friends.

4.) Clicking “like” on photos of friends.

5.) Statuses of my own that I would write.

6.) Sharing videos of my singing and harmonica playing from You Tube.

Give me your opinions on this

G.Rock via Facebook

Are you sure you’re not inadvertently ‘in a Relationship’ with Facebook? This is an early warning about the present social crisis and disorder you appear to be afflicted with, and every effort you are making to promote yourself.

Readers of this blog will know that I Like Facebook, but with a strong and pokey sticky stick of sensible decorum that means there is acclaim (oh the horror) at the stark realism (read as bluntness) of my advice. This means that my attempts to explore the stupidity, vanity, futility, conceit, arrogance and futility (like yours) have not gone unnoticed.

Here then is some more unfailing and brutally honest advice. Get. A. Life. Your one to six diatribe reveal a bleak indictment of human insecurity.  I have my concerns for you!… which is why my Facebook friend I find your distortions of Facebook’s caring and sharing intentions worrying.  I have seen your Profile Page, it is full of distorted lies(!) You do not climb mountains at weekends, and yet your image is of your head superimposed onto a body builders shoulders looking out over Table Mountain.  More lies(!!) contrived by your ever-changing ‘relationship status’.  You are a social crook(!!!) Heavily stained and chipped by your sharing of mis-information to your networks. You said you were ‘on holiday’ in America last week. You were seen in Tesco.

I strongly recommend that you drag yourself away from Facebook. Or risk the unfriend play.  Then what will you do with your time? And how else can you enjoy all those lovely adverts that Facebook has to share with you?

[please note, if you have not already, the above it to be read under the hat of Heavy Sarcasm and self-reproach]


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