Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2060 like a mother abandoning her children

Friday 12th April, 2013

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Dear Dr M.

My children are on Facebook. God, what a stink! I’m exposed to more of their dirty laundry now than ever before. What do you recommend?

From Posy via a very nice tweet #pfbe

Two schools of thought here Posy. The first is what I refer to as the old rose-tinted spectacles approach.  Once, Grown Up Folk (like yourself), cast a kind eye on the scrapes and activities of their nearest and dearest… they could chuckle at a little bit of cheek… and felt quite sure that the little scamps would come ‘awright’ in the end…

The little pickles!

Welcome to the Digital Age, and don your new darkened wayfarers.  Today, young people are (outrageous) having a good time right under our noses! They shouldn’t be allowed. They are not to be trusted! View these scamps with the dark eyes of suspicion. The little minxes. Probably drinking too much. Up to no good.

Look, Posy, it’s the noise of their constant updates that’s driving you mad.  This is invading your Facebook territory, and while you’re busying with ‘doing stuff’, you have to run a filter over their stuff too… the noise!… the wasted mundaneness of the NewsFeed!

And when you finally concentrate on uploading your exciting social life, well you have to be careful don’t you, you can’t have your little roost knowing what really knackers Mummy on a night out… all those raw bits of information at your fingertips.

I propose your symptoms are a digital claustrophobia! Your’re hemmed in… if you walk away from Facebook, you’ll miss that Friend Request from Mister Smarty Pants at High School, or pictures of your boss being tagged on her yacht.

I suggest some Alternative Therapy. Every time one of your small folk get near their computer/ smart device post a ‘mummy loves you’ message on their Wall. This will have the effect of Killing with love. Jam well and truly extracted from their doughnut. You see all you really want is the simple life… a little family repose when you can find the best in one another.  Isn’t it extraordinary how one’s responses are besmirched by knowing too much about one another.

Easier solution. Unfriend. It’s practically like a mother abandoning her children, only without social services or the Daily Mail involved.

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