Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2061I imagine Zuckerberg’s cri de coeur [cris de coeur (kr ). An impassioned outcry]

Saturday 13th April, 2013

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Dear Dr H.

So how’s life?…  And why is Pippa Middleton on Facebook? Isn’t this space safe from the royal ponies?…

From Pippa’s friend.

She is on Facebook isn’t she! All forty-one Fan Pages of her. And some more. Sometimes posed alongside her parents property in the Shire’s.  She is also the subject of several others poses of nobility that require all three of her radically expressive facial expressions:

  1. Lady sitting by the moat at Windsor Castle.  Yes, no further explanation required, The Windsor. Sat with expression Number 2. that is ‘looking royal, next to crown jewels’;
  2. Lady in hunting greens. Riding with expression Number 3. that is ‘looking royal on top of crown jewel’;
  3. Lady on Instagram.  Pouting with expression Number 1. that is ‘looking like royalty on the hunt for crown jewels #PrinceHarryDoesItBest’.

So this culture of celeb, it’s great isn’t it. I mean you can practically be ‘besties’ with the royals and the Kardashian’s on the same social network(!) quelle AMAZEballs. On this note, did you know – possibly no – that IF you want to message a ‘real’ celebrity, you can! There’s nothing to stop you. Then their PR will get back to you right away. Also based on the number of their ‘Friends’ will determine how much (yes £s and $s) that Facebook will charge you to contact any individual deemed of supremely high status to merit a charge on their communication.  Zuckerberg is worth at least $11 I am reliably informed.

I imagine Zuckerberg’s cri de coeur [cris de coeur (kr ). An impassioned outcry],when establishing new streams of revenue is: ‘Chr*st on a bike, this network is ripe for marketing!’ and when monetised to the hilt and users leaving in a hefty stampede worthy of a ram-raid on London’s Selfridges on Boxing Day: ‘hahahaha, I’ve got all your data, you can’t escape being Friends with my social network!’… and after the surfaces of the world wide wait have been endlessly dominated with mundane social nonsense that cause endless $s… ‘MySpace would be an improvement…’

Log on.

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