Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2070 not much to look at

Wednesday 24th April, 2013

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Dear Dr M.

It’s come to mine (and others attention) that you do post such unflattering images of yourself. Surely as the ‘Dame of Etiquette’ your Profile should be top notch.

From BehindTheLens.

And by the way, my dear, you might have mentioned this to me sooner. Women are especially acute to feel such things when they are related to our appearance – lo(!) how painful for us. Well don’t you worry, my ‘ego’ is sufficiently dry and ugly to savour the displeasure of ‘looking sh*te’ here there and everywhere. Par the course if you are an Academic. Not to say that we’re all ‘ugly’, but we are partial to things that are both good and deeply bad in taste.

Whilst I am afraid of getting (quite unnecessarily) vain, it has occurred to me that it would be a good thing to refine my image online – ah, that even rhymes. Next time I slip into old DIY get up and wander outside, I’ll hold down that wild feeling of excitement that one gets from posting remotely (if unflattering-ly) reproduced pictures of ones self. These ‘selfie’s’ come with a heightened sense of responsibility – you are the producer and publisher of ‘stuff’.

Yes, since your notice, I’ve also noticed (with surprise and annoyance), that one’s Profile has been put together quite loosely of late. How ghastly for all to observe. Shocking even. Of course, I should have spotted this sooner, what with my students being ardent Follower’s of some of my Feeds. Especially the inclusion of one image into their Final Project Presentations. Thankfully, they were very kind and did pick a flattering pose after-all. Proof that these do exist.

But, oh, wowever’d I (‘Dame Etiquette’) come to leave it like this?  I shouldn’t wonder if all my goodness has gone off, like that cheese that used to be expensive and good, and is now dormant, smelly and well rather un-good.  In my defense, it’s been a tough ol few months, but this does not excuse my offending your eyes!

Be pleased to know that I have removed the stopper and squinted a careful eye into the digital can, then given a sharp thump to all pictures etc. for a more pleasing [read attractive] Profile AND then for added security taken to being ‘Private’.  After these actions, surely you must approve? (note, not that I am seeking your approval – a good friend is someone who can talk you down and level with you, if only to build you up again).

As of now, I consider that I’ve washed my hands carefully of any unwelcome viewers, for I do not believe in taking unnecessary risks. Add to this my delightful friend Mandy Charlton a Photographer:



…will be put to good use capturing some outstanding or remarkable new images of moi – oh, vanity, vanity. This makes her Remarkable, as I am not photogenic in the slightest.

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