Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2076 half the number of FB birthday wall posts

Saturday 13th July, 2013

Sharing URL

Dear Mariann,

I got half the number of FB birthday wall posts this year compared to last year. The same was true with actual birthday cards. Should I be worried?

From TheMan, via #pfbe submit page.

I’m very fond of birthdays, they call up a certain frisson of family and friendships. But why so much heavy emphasis on metrics?…

Perhaps you got the wrong day.  Perhaps Facebook algorithmic preferences are not (for once) pushily broadcasting your coming of age.  Or was it an especially ‘big one’, when everyone’s just too terribly polite to acknowledge such forks in the road.

Now then, at least items were not re-gifted to you that were last years gestures.  However, such behaviour does seems to echo the ‘treatment’ that you describe.  More than likely it is that friends – those who really care – have their wishes saved for you to be experienced in ‘real time’ – as in the moment that you are face-to-face. It would be polite then to provide them with the opportunity to take advantage of such invitations.  A shin-dig should do it. You might mention in your invitation that there is a ‘optional extra’ of not a +1, but a party bag.  This should have your friends gripped, and guilty at the same time. Perfect for laying it on thick and drawing a sympathetic ‘ooooo’ of anniversary appreciation.

With the above clarified, I propose that more of a dilemma is the number of proper days/weeks/months(?)!!! for leaving birthday wishes attached to your Wall.  Never would one delete these (for shame!), but at the same time isn’t it the height of bad taste, or something quite huffily narcissist to ‘promote’ such endorsements.

I propose that IF it is more than a week after your birthday, shame on you.

However, there are some subtle variants to this scenario, that you are 1. in prison ; 2. about to go to prison, 3. only have two friends, and thus await (perhaps indefinitely) some tokenism of birthday related banter. In cases one, two and three you may extend the share and display period up to eleven months. Anything longer than this, just gets silly, and starts to shade into your next coming of age – by which time you hope to have more friends, and thus have your other dilemma that you didn’t ask, but should have, solved.

Solution – more friends.

Leave a Reply