Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2083 only a large network

Wednesday 2nd October, 2013

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Dear Mariann,

May I ask; how can I be really, really liked?  I feel like I’m betraying my real friends in favour of my Facebook ones, but I want to be like everybody else. How can I ask to feel special?

From MB via email. 

Rather than risk upsetting the masses, if you want to feel really really special,  just don’t bother with the whole of Facebook. Have what you can manage and leave the rest.  Nothing worse than biting off more than you can chew.

I like the following, overheard in a coffee shop between one man and his dog, and another woman and her friend.

“folk are far too mealy-mouthed to say they just want something nice”  [He said]

This repose is not typical. Actually it is rather rare. Voiced by the man in the three-coffee-party, I rather like the modesty of this request.  ‘Something nice’; yes. Something nice and lingering and sweet. The other risk is the danger that we move into inadequate friendships with Liking-only roles.

Personally, I’ve very “little sympathy” with those “miserable slackers” who pose as friends, and become ‘everybody else’. Do you really want to be ‘like everybody else’? Surely that’s a complete pain in the arse.

Might you draw a comparison between ‘friends’ and ‘nearly friends’? There’s some rather nifty research being done on this – see some fascinating stuff by The Cyber Psyche ; she’s a smart cookie. And her words will offer real counsel, as opposed to my flippant ones here.

Given Facebook’s perchance for updates, I hope that their latest search syntax for ‘friends’ and ‘friends-of-friends’ is the last of their kind.

No one who is really concerned about the future of true friendship wants to get bogged down in such a peripheral matters as getting to know one another properly. You know, like offline and everything.

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