Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2095 slagheap of unfriendedness!

Wednesday 4th December, 2013

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Dear Mariann,

There is a recent excuse I’ve had to use in order to unfriend, defriend and to completely become a no friend. It has occurred to me that before certain important ‘facts’ were known, I could have let the people involved know about my plans. How do you suggest I find out what is going on, so that this couldn’t happen again?

Thanks from Humphrey

What important facts? I want to ask.What are these ‘facts’? And why are they relevant? To you? To them?…

That you did not want these people in your life for whatever reason/s is personal to you.

The nature of Facebook means that everyone knows everything before anything can happen. Otherwise, it didn’t happen. Or won’t happen. These three states cannot co-exist.

I thought everyone knew this.

Tiny mistake? Little bit of time and emotional effort wasted here. Give me an example of a truly big mistake! This was letting your ‘friends’ find out about what you had in store – albeit without any kind of explanation. This kind of activity is best put into action in stealth mode: In the darkest of night, with all the lights off, and only the glow of the laptop to guide you – perhaps some Chablais on the side. Or depending on your temperament vodka/gin/something else…

Then you would appear as an enigma who requires no explanation, and your actions become a secret; that must keep what it is that you are doing secret and that has to be kept secret in order for there to be a secret to keep.

Your friends are not interested in the nature of your truth. You have hurt their pride.They want in on your secrets. And unfriended they are ‘access denied’!

Be prepared to receive some gentle jostling as your previous friends get used to a new status  on the slagheap of unfriendedness!

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