Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2103 The Ghost of Facebook Future

Sunday 22nd December, 2013

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Dear Mariann,

[Message appears as an apparition by the fireside]

This is a bit early but it really annoys me how everybody posts “Merry Christmas” and “happy new year” on their Facebook feeds, but nobody can actually pick up the phone or send any sort of personal message? Am I a scrooge or are they lazy?

From: The Ghost of Facebook Future in chains.

When it comes to Christmas greetings, for this is now culpable and hangs thickly in the air, I prefer a cheek-to-cheek seasonal hello.

So you are right, those others are just being lazy.

This time last year, I met up with an old friend who had been using one of those dating websites for men who keep themselves fit. She had emailed a ‘nice chap’ a few times, then spoke on the phone.

His was described as having a ‘posh’ and ‘sexy voice’. Forget meeting for coffee in Costa, he had said: fancy somewhere else for Christmas? My friend thought it a splendid idea and took up his invitation with gusto dropping all her other plans with friends and family at short notice.

This tale ends with the couple meeting for the first time (not at Costa, but some other independent), embracing and enjoying a smashing Christmas hunkering down with all their social media firmly OFF for seven days.

Once they raised their noses above the parapet again, it was New Years Eve and in their haste to assure friends that they were still alive and ‘ok’ they coupled together some festive tokenism and jolliness in the form of online updates.

So if friends do suddenly resort to not calling you, but updating only on SNSs, they are 1. likely having a splendid jolly time of it; or 2. too tipsy to dial.

Not Scrooge. More like booze.

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