Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2105 open on both ends

Thursday 26th December, 2013

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Dear Mariann,

It wasn’t that long ago that there was just one phone in the house and maybe you had a foot or two or extra long phone wire to let you roam and walk all over the house, and tie up the cat.

By the time we got to Facebook there’s no wire and no effort. I spent yesterday trying to get my two teenage boys off their iToys.  This technology… oh no, I’m losing it, and you know what… no I’ve forgotten what I was going to say?!!! must be the Christmas gin.

We were talking about Mariah Carey, suddenly it’s a  case of everyone talking to anyone who isn’t in the house, and I’m forgetting who I am. Picture the family scene, when there’s a whole bunch of people sitting around on the sofa grunting at one another, Dr Who is on tv, I’m updating Twitter and congratulating myself on a Christmas turkey not burnt. Now I feel like I don’t know what I’m talking about, so now I’m panicking as I can’t remember why I’m writing to you. Maybe I’ll get out of this by saying, I hope you had a divine Christmas and were spoiled. This technology is hurting us I say and making us lazy.

Yours Babetter Cole.

Ms Cole, oh I’ve been dying to see that Dr Who episode, perhaps I won’t bother now I can just stay in for the night and observe Twitter. Plus I have a whole new burnt batch of mince pies to get through. I think the thrust of your dilemma is something about too many screens and not enough phone wire to tie up the cat anymore.

I always try and break the Christmas silence by trying to say something; ‘Hey, wanna open more presents and then try to wrap the cat?!” Or if you’re like me, you won’t say this and instead you’ll chuckle to yourself manically.

There are generally accepted modes of behaviour over Christmas. First you must pretend to enjoy those presents that you really detest, jars of pickles, a poem from your Aunt, vouchers for ‘experience days’ you don’t want to experience… Next you must be social.  Oh create some real conflict, turn the wifi off and see chaos ensue. Divine.

Then you can tie the cat up in tinsel. Much more fun than the angry, angry people at the Sales.

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