Proper Facebook Etiquette

#2123 surgery to look better on Facebook

Sunday 4th May, 2014

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Dear Mariann, 

According to a recent marketing survey* the number of Facebook users who have had plastic surgery to boost their profile has increased London’s Harley Street profits considerably. Can you recommend a good surgeon?

Thanks Tiffawnie. 

At the top end of the market, among luxury and celebrity lifestyle, I recommend anyone not used by Kim Kardashian, they are likely to be considerably booked and also have Victoria Beckham to attend to.  So whilst their work is considered high-brow, perhaps you’d be better going lower.

Tiffawnie, you may be interested to know that gender, beauty and sexual stereotyping are a lot more fragmented than a simple nip and tuck might suggest. Hold on tight, Vogue’s already had its first mixed race couple on the cover  – oh wait a minute that was KK & KW, so not exactly a new fashion aesthetic but a handbag throw in the right direction; if wealth, status and profile are really what fashion wants to boast about most. Ms A. Wintour you do so know best. 

Maybe turn to another publication to help with my re-alignment of your facial aesthetic. What about the Sunday Times, there’s a nice piece of Murdoch, surely this has something challenging on offer < Tiff  (if I may), I’ve actually bought a copy of this today, so you do not need to fear the Murdoch paywall.

Front cover of the Style Magazine – ah, yes another diametrically correct blonde air brushed beauty. Sigh. This is proving difficult. Perhaps their Fashion Editor has something nice to declare, Tiffanie Drake (another Tiff!) declares that, ‘the change is already happening… you probably didn’t notice – there is very little actual skin on show. In fact you can’t even tell the shape of the models body.’ (p.5, Editor’s Letter).

Yes Dear Tiff Drake, I think you’re missing the point here; the model’s body is not on show because she is 1. wearing clothes; and 2. it’s not the display of women’s bodies that is the big issue, its the continued use of a one-fits-all body type. Often blonde, always tall, always slim. So you’re right, I didn’t even notice there was a change in the type of fashion that you and The Times are endorsing. Looks just the same as usual. Vogue will be pleased.

Tiffawnie, I can’t recommend a good surgeon, but I can recommend some excellent apps to airbrush yourself so that you can look like every other woman out there – these include… 

* so here’s a handy infograph.

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